Love is simple


My dear friend Amy in the UK, sent me a cd of mixed songs she had put together. She had sent it to me months ago when it was my birthday, but due to my world exploding I hadn't really had a chance to look at it. I spent last weekend with Peter, and popped the cd in the stereo. The first song that came on, was one I'd never heard before by the Akron/Family called Love is simple. Peter and I were stopped in our tracks. We looked across the room at one another grinning at the simplicity and loveliness of this song. We had been posting songs to one another via facebook, as we are huge music nuts. These weren't love songs, but in many ways songs about love and people and relationships and life.

Amy's cd fit the bill. She was another girl in love, who found this sentiment in songs not usually thought of as love songs. Peter and I were both blown away. The timing of listening to this cd now seemed like another example of kismet. The Akron/Family song keeps going around in my head. Love is simple.

Easy to say, I know. Especially in context of some of the hard times I've experienced of late, it may seem even a little ironic. But perhaps this sentiment sums life up? I've always listened to people talk about the hardship of their relationships and wondered how they can still battle to keep the relationship going. But then on the other hand, I stayed in a relationship for years that didn't quite fit me properly. I have thought many times that if the relationship was so hard and difficult, then maybe there's a good reason for that. It's not meant to be, no matter how much you want it to be, or how hard you try.

On the flipside, I also know people who have bailed from relationships at the first hurdle. Protesting that the person wasn't right for them, even when I thought it sounded like an issue that could have been worked through. I suppose in reality you never know what truly goes on between people, or even in some people's heads. They stay in bad relationships because it's easier than the alternative, or because they'd rather be in any relationship than none. Or there are people who seem too afraid to really let themselves be in a relationship and look for the exit door and escape routes before they even get to know the other person.

In reality all I know is that love can be simple, when it's the right person. And you need to be honest with yourself to answer that. Really honest. I also know that love is simple, but relationships can be complex. In that sense, when you love someone, you have to face hard things like being prepared to talk about issues, even if this is not your previous behaviour. Breaking bad habits and patterns of behaviour is very hard indeed. But for the right person it's worth it all. And like most things we're afraid of, the reality isn't as bad as the fear. Love should be simple. It should inspire us to be better people. It should make you look at yourself truthfully. It should be all consuming. And it should be amazing. I know how lucky I am to have found Peter. And for him I am trying to break bad habits of the past, because he is worth it. And with that I'll finish quoting the song 'Don't be afraid, it's only love. Love is simple'.

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